Sanctuary
by xxblackmagicrosexx
Summary: I watch you fast asleep, all i fear means nothing. A simple oneshot using Utada Hikaru's Sanctuary as a guideline. I used the lyrics to write, but my story doesn't have the same meaning as the song, I don't think. Take it how you like.


Your room is much more different in the nighttime hours. It is less inviting, more ominous. It feels like evil is lurking in every corner, behind every shadow. Each and every shadow produced by the less wicked moonlight. The only part of your room that seems even the least bit inviting is you. The way your body moves slightly when you breathe in and out. I can see it. The way your hair shifts a little with each of those breaths. I can see that as well. The swift movement of your eyes beneath your eyelids, that is clear as day to me. However, the shortness of breath you have when I get too close, it pains me each and every time.

_I watch you fast asleep_

I fear that you no longer understand me. There's more to me than what I show to the world. Believe me, there is. The rest of the world sees me as an empty shell waiting to feel needed, but I know you know me better than that. You have to, you just have to. Sometimes though I fear that you fear me because people tend to fear what they don't understand. That usually stems from ignorance, but I refuse to believe you are ignorant. Maybe that makes me ignorant. I don't care, but from that I fear that my life will no longer be the same.

_All I fear means nothing_

When I look at you I know there's more to life. I see hope and renewal. No one has ever made me feel this way before and that's how I know you're someone special. Someone I have never encountered before in my lifetime. You are a healthy mix of the most negative notions known to man, even some only known through the afterlife, as well as the most positive influences ever to greet this world. You are my partner, my partner in life and in death. There will be another who captures your heart like nothing you could imagine, but I want your mind, spirit, and good nature. Together we can create something wondrous.

_In you and I, there's a new land_

A land with hope, prosperity, a future that one could look forward to, but it will not happen unless your negativity is brought down a level. Your healthy mix is good, until you decide to dwell on the menial things in life. You could be so much more, young one, but you will never reach your potential this way. There are others waiting to help us build this new land, but first you have to join us. Become a spirit like us and shun the devils that tempt you with meaningless promises. Join us, please.

_Angels in flight_

The darkness that you allow to swallow you hurts me too, more than you could possibly know. You don't even realize how important you are to me yet I do everything in my power to protect you. It gets tiring, but it is something I must do. Sometimes we have to do for others even when they don't know they need help or don't realize just how much help they need. You need help. I need help. Most of all, I need your acknowledgment. A simple hello or a polite gesture is all I need to justify protecting you for so long, but you just can't seem to do such a simple task.

_I need more affection than you know _

There's a constant pressure surrounding me to just kill you now and save everyone the heartache but I know there's good in you. In my heart there belongs a place where you reside. I can see the good and the evil battling it out to win your body without you having a clue as to what's going on. I also have a place where they reside separately. The evil causes subtle chaos and destruction while the good does exactly what I plan. That residence is where I look to most of the time. I need to be self-assured and that is what keeps me in that state of mind.

_My sanctuary, my sanctuary, yeah_

I can see the paradise we are supposed to create together. I can see it very well. It will be a sanctuary for everyone who wishes to join us! It will be a peaceful place to appreciate the world around you without worrying about petty troubles. It would no longer be a double sided world where people said one thing but meant something completely different. What's said is what's meant and what's meant is what's said. There's no other option. There will be no deceit or harsh feelings. This world could be perfect, but only with you to help me.

_Where fears and lies melt away_

I can see your eyes flutter open now to the sound of the radio. It's been a sleep cycle for you and it's time to awaken. The music brings you back to reality. A reality you don't really want to see, but have to endure regardless. You slowly sit up and look around you miserably, wondering what you're forced to endure today. It wouldn't be a horrible day if you would acknowledge me, just once. Acknowledge me just once in your life and you wouldn't be so miserable! You look in my general direction without really looking and I can hear it, the sound that comes from your heart. Right now it's pleasant, meaning you haven't lost all hope for the day, or your life, just yet.

_Music inside_

However, the sound quickly becomes menacing. Your foul mood is no less triggered by the darkness that creeps around you and your heart. You finally notice me, finally acknowledge me. You yell at me to leave at once. You scream that I am the cause of your despair. You throw your belongings in hopes that I get hurt and flee, but throwing your things is useless. Your words hurt me more than anything. I have lost my purpose in this very moment. I have nothing left to live for and nothing left to prove. There is no reason for me to keep justifying my reasoning for protecting you.

_I need more affection than you know _

Now I can leave you to die. The evil, the darkness, and the shadows will chew you up and spit you out without my protection. They will feast on the goodness in your heart first then grow stronger with everything that is wrong with you. They will grow stronger until they can manifest themselves into real bodies to eat your flesh and bone. However, that will harm me too because of how much I invested in you. I can already feel them starting to eat away the part of my heart that became my sanctuary, the parts that contained you.

_What's left of me,_

I drift away and can foresee all of the horrible punishment you shall receive. Looking into my eyes you can see it too. You feel scared and unsure. You call out to me to make me come back, but it's too late for that. First impressions are important, young one and sometimes they have more power than you can imagine. You know that now, but it's far too late to improve your life. You shall be gone in one week's time leaving behind nothing but a bitter taste in everyone's mouth, so good luck to you. I on the other hand shall float aimlessly around until I find a new purpose for my life. However, my heart has been torn to pieces. Investing so much time in you has really taken a toll on me. It makes me wonder who I am now.

_What's left of me?_


End file.
